My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
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