the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
