i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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