so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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