and my herpes radar will keep us safe
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize