Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Michael Bay diarrhea
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
