Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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