I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
