He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize