It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
