The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
