he shaved USA in his pubs
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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