I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
