well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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