I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am naked and annoyed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
