We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
