If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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