break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
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I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
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We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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