Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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