I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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