You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dignity is for republicans.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
