? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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