MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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