I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was born a porn star she said
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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