dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
