He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
