I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
