someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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