So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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