is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
