I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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