Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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