You don't have asthma, your pregnant
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
