We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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