You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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