Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
