I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
