Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize