Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
