I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
