Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
