I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
