I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
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2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
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I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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