Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
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my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
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sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
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