hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just had sex on a roof
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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