Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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