On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
