When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just found puke in my bra..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
