New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
