p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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