Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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