ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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