I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
