i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
