do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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