Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
