another moral hangover. fuck.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
