oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it's like heaven, but drunker
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize