I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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