yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
