Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
