Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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