If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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