Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
